Visualization

 I've always been good at visualization. Whether it be visualizing white light or visualizing someone I'm angry at getting thrown away from me, I was always able to see it like it was actually happening.

This became very helpful when I was in therapy. Because of my upbringing, I had a lot of unresolved issues. Many revolved around connecting, attachment, and abandonment. I would get easily suicidal and I have attempted a few times in the past. I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and also aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder. Being able to visualize things helped me stabilize my mental state.

Lately, I found that I can raise energy and encourage things to happen with a candle and visualization.

One such incident happened at work actually. I became angry at my manager because he was treating my coworkers unfairly, so I went home and decided to meditate with my mala beads to help soothe the anger (side note: repetition is another thing I'm good at which I'll discuss at a later date). It was during this, I felt the urge to burn a candle.

While watching the candle flame, I visualized my manager not being present while I worked. I was empty-headed about how this will be achieved but my intention was for him to be gone for a while to give everyone a break... and he was gone for a week. He ended up getting gastro and couldn't come to work. I don't know if it was karma or another will at work but he was definitely gone for the week.

I'll continue to research visualization and how to properly do it but for a first try it seemed to go ok tho I think next time I will be more specific about what I want.